Posted in Uncategorized


After some thought and consideration, I’ve decided to migrate the eavestrough diaries to my personal website. Since the site is currently under construction, this one will remain active in the meantime, though no new poems will be uploaded. I will link to the page once it has been completed.


Posted in eavesdrop, Poetry

leo season

i’m tired of writing about
hookups and bar crawls
and whatever Aaron put up his
nose last week

i get that it’s leo season and all
but can we just put our horoscopes
down for 2 minutes and stop acting
like depraved little children?

it’s almost as if people are allergic
to the sweeter side of life
like my prof
with the super cute hedgehog and mildly
popular food blog

i’m more interested in stories
with that kind of depth
or philosophical shit
like why noodles float in
water and wontons
float on the top

but hey, i guess i have to
make a living and i don’t remember
the last time i got published
for investigating what drives
strangers to fall in love




Posted in eavesdrop, Poetry

personal reasons

My friend Jackie
deals the best blow out of
the back of her Chevy Tahoe.

I have done things
like you wouldn’t believe,
just to stand in line pour vingt
minute, nevermind
score a bump.

I know what you’re thinking;
trust me, I only like it
for personal reasons.
Other people
might like to get drunk
or go HAM on some candy corn
to feel mué bien.

That just sounds like some
backroom bullshit—
real lazy like.

I need something
that’s going to make me scream
at the top of my lungs
before setting even one foot
out into our messed up
little world.


Posted in eavesdrop, Poetry

culinary tradition

Last Tuesday, I read an interesting article
about “The Top Ten Things Most People Don’t Know About”.
It blew my mind that #4 was: “When You Make Meatballs You Don’t Use Beef.”
Few things really shock me anymore, but I’ve got to say
this left me reeling.

Have we reached a point in human history
where shocking our fellow people is more important
than common sense, or are we just that far removed
from basic culinary tradition?

It’s days like this that make me glad my grandmother
isn’t alive to see how foolish society has become.
“What’s next?” she’d scream, “first you dump a big pile of shit on your plate and the next people will want to bring a fucking salad to work!”

Pardon her French, but Gramma never really was a big believer in roughage.


Posted in eavesdrop, Poetry

below the eaves

I just want to spend
the whole day
smoking weed
like a chimney
& eavesdrop
for girlie things.

You know, like:
“I hope you have
a nice bike ride home”
“It’s ok Laura
I still love you”

I mean, it gets
really exhausting trying
to live up to what
everybody expects a boy
to be nowadays


Posted in eavesdrop, Poetry

a good plan

i wonder if people like carly rae jepsen ever think about the money?

i mean, long distance rates are pretty wild these days.

maybe she just has a good plan

or maybe, she just genuinely believes in old cliches like

“money can’t buy love.”