Posted in Poetry


There are some people that say that Santa Clause is dead;
Garrett and I have a different view of the world.

I want to host a pre-party.      They want to legalize drugs.

Me, I have programs like         It’s really too big for
I have frozen hotdogs in         one person to handle.
my freezer.


[Sorry mobile users! Thanks to WP’s strange indenting function, this particular piece won’t show up properly on your device!]

Posted in Poetry

The Dutch Bourgeois

He gets too
damn focused
on future events;

you can go right off

the deep end

with those.

The Dutch Bourgeois.

He doesn’t even know
what a Hell’s
looks like.



That’s the kinda man
I’d settle down

and just raw dog it.


Posted in Poetry


I want
to deflower
my thirteen year old niece.
She doesn’t have a big place, there isn’t
room for a garden.

She ralphed
on a raccoon; what else is there to say?
I’m trying, but
could be a little more



Posted in Poetry

Your Majesty

I just think of myself as royalty.

She chased me and said she wanted to stay with me;
I got really aggro,
just bashing her head in. Over and over.

This is how you use the internet.